Three weeks in the Caribbean is heaven on earth for most people; but for Paul and Francesca, the beach paradise vacation turned into a complete nightmare. Their disagreements began when Paul felt disappointed Francesca didn’t want to try deep sea diving. Refusing to acknowledge this problem with his wife, the two grew distant and cold towards one another. Tensions rose further, leading to separate walks back to their hotel and different itineraries for the day. Can a dream vacation get so bad that it can break a blissful marriage?

Once the honeymoon (or the so-called honeymoon stage of a relationship) is over, couples need to face reality and let go of ideal expectations. This important lesson is suddenly forgotten when unprepared couples vacation together. This may come as a surprise, since a married couple should be used to each other’s flaws and strange habits. Here a few tips to keep in mind while planning for your vacation to ensure you won’t be disturbing the peace in a foreign land.

• The activities you plan should come from both parties. Compromise is key to enjoying a vacation together. If you prefer hiking while he/she enjoys tanning, then look for a country with the scenic beaches and hiking trails. The results are disastrous if you don’t consider each other’s needs. Lonely Planet couple bloggers Andrew Bain and Sarah Wintle recount seeing a “woman cursing her boyfriend in Vang Vieng, Laos, after he dragged her along for an arduous bike trip. And for another couple in the Middle East, she wanted comfort and complained the whole way, while he was feeling every inch like Indiana Jones.”

• It’s not practical for one person to shoulder all the responsibilities, so be sure to divide them accordingly. Travels with Two, the Travel Blog for Couples written by happily married couple Melanie and Adam, advises this since “no one person feels like they have to do everything.” Take on responsibilities that are your strengths and complement your companion’s weaknesses. This lessens the chances of anyone making mistakes along the way.

• Don’t be afraid to explore new and exciting things together. Strange foods and odd cultural practices are easier to experience once you have someone to share it with. When traveling to a new territory, it’s best to leave your inhibitions and hesitations at home. DJMick’s Travel trips article recommends China for couples who have share a passion for history. For lovers who enjoy bonding through romantic dinners, New Zealand is the perfect setting. Couples who met while doing outdoor activities can relive their first moments in Canada’s amazing landscapes or South America’s grand peaks.

• Once you’ve packed up enough clothes and cash, don’t forget to set aside some extra patience. Couple vacations are a great avenue to practice this popular virtue. Prolonged time together intensifies your companion’s eccentricities. According to Canada’s adventure couple Dave Bouskill and Debra Corbeil, “the biggest mistake you can make is holding it all in. It will make for a miserable experience. Have the fight and get it over with, but then move on.” After all, you only have one another to rely on in a foreign country.

• If you’re going on a long-term vacation, then don’t be afraid to spend some of that time apart. That time can be as long as a day or an hour—depending on how much space you need. There are some activities your partner will never enjoy (i.e. a man having a day at the spa or shopping for shoes).If you really need to see Paris couture your boyfriend will never appreciate, don’t force him into it. Time apart is the perfect opportunity to enjoy the interests and activities exclusive to your personality. 

Fights are bound to occur with any couple, no matter where they are in the world. If you really want a worry-free trip, then settle all your relationship issues before you leave. With the right balance of patience and passion, you’ll be on your way to a truly romantic getaway.